Friday Food is a little bit of food for your soul. A little something to feed your soul, to remind you that you are loved, that you are not alone and that there is hope. Friday Food is just a little something to encourage you along the way. Looking for more inspiration? View the entire Friday Food series here.
In the Christian Tradition, today is Good Friday and forgiveness is one of the many themes we reflect on. Forgiveness is in all the great religious traditions of the world and today seems like one of many good days to reflect on forgivenss. My friend Jane Wolfe has written a beautiful meditation and I am sharing it in this weeks Friday Food. Jane has served as President of the World YWCA, she has served with the Episcopal Church and the World Council of Churches on the status of women. She has lived in Jerusalem and knows a thing or two about forgiveness. She is a spiritual director and CEO of Bog Chapel in Woodstock, Vermont where she teaches Spiritual Health and Fitness. You may reach her on Facebook at Spiritual Fitness 2015 or janewolfe@aol.com Here is your Friday Food:
Father, Forgive Them
What does Jesus mean when he says Father, forgive them for they know not what they do? Maybe a lot of different things, but one thing I know for sure he means is that they have no idea of what it means to be forgiven. Or to forgive. In terms of a teacher on that level he has been a bust: he has not been able to get across in an effective way what forgiveness means, how to forgive, who to forgive, when to forgive.
We still don’t know, or refuse to know about forgiveness. We don’t know that on the most primitive level forgiveness means we will not take revenge: I forgive you. That means I will not kill you, I will not be passive aggressive and mean to you for the rest of your days because of your words and actions.
We still don’t understand that forgiveness and healing are two different things. Forgiveness means you won’t take revenge; healing means you have to get over the wounds from words and deeds hurled against you. You can forgive in an instant – I will not take revenge on you. Your healing may take years and years. “I forgive you for raping my daughter,” we can say and mean it – we will not take revenge. But we have to heal, that daughter and her family and friends. That will take some time. Does take some time. The rape is the sin; the wounds are the effect of the sin of rape; they will take time to heal.
We still don’t accept that in order to be forgiven for our own sins, we must forgive others their sins. Forgiveness is not a “get out of jail free” card. Forgiveness has a price tag; the price tag says you must forgive in order to assure your own forgiveness. You want to be forgiven for committing adultery, for destabilizing your marriage and possibly the marriage of another. Yet you won’t forgive the lecherous debauchery of your next door neighbor last weekend. It won’t work. You want to be forgiven? Forgive those whose cruel and insensitive words and behaviors have wounded you and possibly others.
We still don’t believe that our arrogant condemnation of people who have sinned against others is in itself a sin. We are ok with praying safety and nurture and empowerment for the helpless, the wounded, and the victims of fear, injustice, oppression and degradation. But we do not pray for the degraders, oppressors, torturers, fear mongers, or the cruel, violent and tyrannically destructive among us. We do not forgive them; we simply despise them, their words and their actions.
Until we learn for sure that we must forgive in order to be forgiven, all the victim praying and talking and acting in the world will not bring peace or justice, joy or kindness, love or humility in any lasting way to any of us or to all humanity and its world. We must pray for those whose crimes have injured us deeply. Those who torture and have tortured and executed people irrespective of justice; those who deprive and have deprived others of food, water, shelter, education, leadership and all means of life; those who poison our land and sea and air and all the beings that live therein.
Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Jesus had forgiven us for not loving our enemies as ourselves which is why he could speak to his father about us. He wanted to make sure no revenge was taken on us for our sinful words, actions and omissions, and he wanted to make sure we had another chance to learn and practice forgiveness, which is essential to human life. Forgiveness is transformational, particularly forgiveness of those we loathe, despise and are afraid of. It is that transformed life that can bring each of us and humankind peace, justice and joy.
The offer of forgiveness is still on the table. I suggest we accept it and get on with transformation.
